RHYMES WITH ORANGE.

Well, actually, NOTHING rhymes with Orange. At least, not in the English language. I am so sly and tricky. In the car last night we were "throwing words out there" and the idea was to find a word that rhymed with the "thrown out" word. My kids were doing very well. Until I rememebered something I learned in school, eons ago.

And I won. Because I cheated. Because nothing truly rhymes with "Orange." Was that mean?

So, I need to go buy a dress for my sister's wedding today. I know, I'm a big time procrastinator, and I'm flying out there tomorrow, yadda yadda yadda. I was waiting for the Big Sale, so that's my defense, and I'm sticking to it. (Cassie if you're reading this, take a deep breath, all is well.)

I've bought some hefty books I've been itching to read, downloaded movies and TV epidodes on my iTouch, and I'm READY for the long flights. Thing One and I are going to have some serious "mommy/daughter" bonding time, and it will be nice, since we butt heads a lot. She seems to think she's older and smarter than me (at age ten, of all things) and I KNOW I'm older and smarter than her, so we are at odds sometimes. This trip will be great for us.

So, here's the bad news, for my one devoted reader. :-) I won't be blogging until I get back, so the blog will return on Tuesday, May 27th.

I know, you're so bummed. I am going to RELAX and not spend a lot of time on the computer. I will be "reconnecting" with the family I haven't seen in years. It's been way too long.

I'm sure Hubby will be texting me every ten minutes or so: Where's the diaper ointment? Does he like Bananas? Are the boys supposed to be playing on your computer?

Maybe I'll turn off my phone...hmmm...tempting.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Memorial Day!

Lara

Losing My Mind: CHECK.

Status: Beating myself up for being such a procrastinator...

Two days and counting....and I will be F-R-E-E!!!!

Okay, so it's sorta more like three days, but I leave Thursday at noon, so close enough.
Did the grocery shopping this morning, Hubby has all the food he needs. Check. Made sure all the baby's clothes are washed, and his needs like diapers, wipes, food, etc. are stocked. Check. Typed up his schedule. Check.

Now I just need to bake a cake for my daughter's church activity tonight, back up all my files to my thumb drive, (yes, I still call it a thumb drive, shut up) wash all the clothes we need for the trip, schedule an oil change for Thurs. morning (I'm overdue by about 800 miles) pay some bills, make phone calls, stay on my diet, start packing, type up the menu plan, pick up the kids, take them to soccer, take them to cubs and church...

I'm stopping there. One thing at a time. I'm going to BREATHE now. I can't wait until school's out. Then we'll just have sports to keep the kids busy. We will spend long hours outside, and just have some fun. I am looking forward to the less hectic pace of summer.

I got some writing in last night--it was a total fluke. Hubby wanted to watch tennis, and I was playing around on the computer in the office next door, and I opened one of my files and worked on my story. I got quite a bit in, by 9:30. Go me!

Now I need to bake that cake. Gotta make hay while the baby sleeps!

I Survived!

...another birthday, that is. I truly think once you hit your 30's, the birthdays just sort of "fog together." I'm thirty four. Or am I thirty five? Thirty six? Really?

Self preservation? Perhaps. The only birthdays I enjoy these days are my kids'. THOSE are fun!

I had a mostly good weekend--Hubby and I saw IRON MAN on Friday night--what a fun blast! I've always had a little "thing" for Robert Downey Jr.--I think it's his eyes. Ever since I first saw those eyes--in the movie Weird Science, I was hooked on him. (Yes, he really WAS in that movie! He was one of the popular dweebs!)

ANYWAY--we saw PRINCE CASPIAN on Saturday. I loved it. It was darker than the first one, but highly entertaining. I haven't read the books (I know, *gasp*) so the movies are fun for me.

I had a great birthday, thanks for the wishes! Of course I spent about 90% of the day in my car, running from one thing to another, but it was a good day.

NOW I have a hellatious three days ahead of me--Thing One and I are leaving town for my baby sister's wedding this Sunday, and Hubby will be alone for five days with the boys--and the baby.
I can't help but be excited about it--only because he'll appreciate me more when I get back. Heh heh!

Can I just fast forward the next few days? ;-)

Murphy's Law and Tacky Cakes.

Status: Shoulder is getting better, thanks for the well wishes.

Murphy's Law of the Day: When you don't need something, it's everywhere. As soon as you need it, it's sold out, taken or unavailable.

Yeah, I got bitten in the a** by that law, yesterday. But before I launch into my story, I just came from the book fair at my kids' school. (It opened up at 7:30 and we were there bright and early.) I can't stress enough the awesomeness of school book fairs! This time it was BOGO, and so we got NINE books for under $25. How studly is that? My avid little readers are very happy, and so am I. (Of course one of the books was a SpongeBob Squarepants joke book, but oh well). Thing Two likes his jokes.

So yesterday morning, Hubby texts me and asks if I will pick up a half-sheet cake for one of his colleagues, who is leaving. He needed "Best of Luck" written on it.

So, like a complete Moron, I take my sweet time. I know they have tons of half-sheet cakes everywhere, so why am I worried? I had just gotten home from the dentist, was numb to the gills, and frankly, didn 't feel like going anywhere until it wore off.

So, around 1pm, I fed Thing Four, and we went "Bye-bye" (he LOVES to go bye-bye) and I went to the local supermarket.

Nothing. All they had were these little frozen kids cakes and cupcakes. I was annoyed, but I had a few more places I could check.

Next store: Nothing.

Next store: Already had "Happy Birthday" written on every single cake.

Next store: Only had tacky cakes.

(at this point I was thinking WHAT THE HECK??? These places usually have tons of cakes on a normal day!)

So, FINALLY I arrived at my neighborhood Sendik's (gosh I love that place!). They have a To-Die-For Bakery. I get there, absolutely CERTAIN that they will have a half-sheet cake. A little more money than I want to pay, but they'll deliver.

ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. I start to panic. Sam's Club is so far away, and the baby is getting fussy for a nap. So I finally decide I'm going to get TWO quarter-sheet cakes and call it a day. Besides, I can get more variety that way.

So I start looking for a blank cake. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday. Congratulations Graduate. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday...

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE CAKES HAS WRITING ON IT!!! Then I cheer--one of the cakes at the very back is blank. I pull it out...and wince. It's this white cake with pink frosting decorations with these tacky-flowers with smiley faces on them.

I finally think to hell with it and I take the cake up to the counter, and ask the (very nice) lady if she has any more blank cakes in storage. She goes back to look, and comes out shaking her head. So, being the resourceful person I am, I ask her if she can scrape the "Happy Birthday" off one of the cakes so I will have two of them. She says she absolutely can. She goes to help me pick out another cake, and we find one just as tacky as the flowers, but with butterflies. At this point I'm getting the giggles, at the sheer absurdity of my situation.

I've had it. It will just have to do. The baby is beyond tired at this point, and has begun whimpering, very loudly. So she disappeared behind the counter for a few minutes (I wandered over and bought some sushi for dinner, and the baby and I gawked at the 3000 POUND CHEESE they had at the front of the store, they gave us a sample) and she brought out the cakes, and I thanked her profusely. She even offered a cookie to the baby, who immediately shouted "COOKIE!" and got all excited. Bless her.

DONE. And that night, I told Hubby not ONE WORD about the tacky cakes. He just sort of looked at them for a moment, smiled and thanked me. Smart Hubby. He knows when not to mess with me. :-)

Tomorrow is my birthday. Hubby will be BAKING me a cake. Lemon. My favorite. Mmmmm.

IT HAS FINALLY COME TO THIS...

This is MOMMY'S tub of markers and pencils and crayons. The children are NOT allowed to touch them, use them, or even BREATHE on them.

Harsh, you say? Well, you don't know my kids. I need art stuff for all the song visuals I make to teach songs in Primary on Sundays, and there isn't anything more infuriating, than trying to hunt down markers...one at a time...in several places in the house. Or having my crayons lost. Or my colored pencils all dull and needing sharpening...and lost.

So, I have MY art tub, and they have THEIRS. It has finally come to this. So far so good.

I was at the dentist this morning. I'm still numb. Yuck. I guess I need to floss more--I'm a sporadic flosser, and I had two "between the teeth" cavities.

Oh, and I'm officially a Wisconsinite. I mowed my own lawn yesterday, all by myself. I got out the Cub Cadet and went to town, just like the other moms in our neighborhood do. They all mow the lawn. I used to think that was weird. I guess I needed to start thinking like a Wisconsin Person.

Hubby was surprised, but grateful, because otherwise he would have had to mow the lawn in the dark. It was tempting to let him...the mower does have headlights...

Innocent Video Games...*sigh*

Yes, believe it or not, there WERE some, not long ago. Remember the NES systems from the 80's?

I've provided a pic to jog your memory. Made by Nintendo, these things are DINOSAURS. I say that because they were made in the mid-eighties and thanks to the magic of Ebay, I was able to purchase one a few years ago with the controllers and gun, PLUS all the games we played as kids. All I had to do was put in a new 72-pin, and it works like a dream. TOTAL DINOSAUR, but they don't make em' like this anymore.

So, which games did we have as kids? Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt (I thought it was SO cool you could point a gun at the TV screen and shoot ducks and clay pots!) Super Mario Brothers II and II, Paperboy, and Simon's Quest.

They were all so...innocent. The graphics were rudimentary at best, but you know what? We loved them. We were SO over the Atari. The Nintendo NES was The Bomb.

So, now I have the NES system hooked up to the TV in the guest room, and my kids love to play it. And frankly, it's a lot better than some of the crap they play on Wii, or their DS's. Cartoon violence? Nope. Rated E for everyone? These didn't need ratings. They're...innocent games.

I still play Simon's Quest with my sons. It's amazing--the music, the different towns and mansions, the "nightime curse"--pure genius. I even giggle a little still whenever we now "PROSESS" Dracula's eyeball, or rib, or whatever random body part we're collecting. :-D (Any of you who have played this game will know what I'm talking about--it's a typo in the game's design)

*Sigh* I miss those days. Another example: my daughter, who is in 4th grade, dresses like a teenager. Granted, she dresses modestly, but she's always worried about "matching" and which shoes go with what outfit, and if she looks "dumb" etc. etc.

In 8th grade I had a purple sweater with a big pink heart knit into the front. And I thought I was cool. I wore high-top white tennis shoes. I had feathered short hair. EGADS!!!

My fourth grader wouldn't be caught dead in anything like that.

Like I said, I miss the 80's. Kids stayed "kids" longer. Now, they're expected to be mini-adults at an early age.

Maybe I'm reminiscing more because I'm about to have a birthday. I don't know. But man, times sure have changed! I see older people walking around shaking their heads, and I used to shake my head at THEM. Now I'm shaking my head too.

Wow, is it Wednesday already? This week is flying. I'm excited because there are NO sports tonight. There probably wouldn't be any anyway--it's pouring outside.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Thing Four is a Monkey.

No, he really is. He wakes up in the morning screeching that high pitched "eee eee eee" sound.

He's a monkey.

He went to the Dr. yesterday for his One Year checkup, and he had to have two shots. :-( BUT THEN, we had to go to the lab for bloodwork. ??? Huh? Is this a new thing? Granted, it's been seven years since I've had a baby, but I don't remember having to go to a lab and have TWO vials of blood taken out of any of my kids arms! It was probably more traumatic for me than him. I had to hold him on my lap, and hold his left arm to his chest, while two nurses held his right arm, and took blood from his little chubby inner arm.

:-( He didn't scream, but he cried like his heart was broken. That, to me, is the worst.

But then a few minutes later we were back in the car and he was jabbering away at the cars outside his window. Thank heaven he didn't blubber all day long. Then again, I'm not one to encourage blubbering. ;-)

Okay, I'm doing a lot of smiley faces in this post. What is up with that?

I'm still babying the shoulder, but the Dr. said it would take about a month to heal. Thanks for all the well wishes. I appreciate them!

Today is a quiet day--I am going to get some research done for the Lost City story, and finish my outline. The characters were talking in my head yesterday. Well, one of them. She just won't shut up.

Time to go tidy the kitchen--today was Tuesday Toast day and there's a LOT of crumbs on the floor! *sigh*

No Rest for the Weary...

Happy Belated Mother's Day, everyone! Whether you're a mother to children or a child, or a dog or a cat or a hamster, I hope it was a great day. :-)

Hubby made scrumptious meals, as usual, and I didn't lift a finger, which was nice, since I CAN'T LIFT MY DAMN FINGERS ANYWAY BECAUSE OF THIS FERSHLUGGING SHOULDER INJURY!!!

*ahem* Sorry about that. It was my ankle a few weeks ago (which is much better now) and now a shoulder. Either I'm getting old and falling apart, or I'm clumsy (I'm going with the latter). Losing the ability to use the shoulder of the hand you use the most---well, it makes me appreciate my health when I have it. Shoulder injuries suck. Especially when you have active kids who like to be...well...active.

We pre-purchased our tickets to Prince Caspian for this Saturday. Woo! Because of the baby, we have a system--Hubby takes half the kids to the show, and I take the other half, and whoever stays home watches the baby. It works. But it was tricky. Because this Saturday we have an 8am soccer game, a 9am softball practice, a 9:45-noon Primary activity at the church far away, an 11am soccer game, and a 3:30 birthday party. SO, we figured Hubby could take some of the kids at noon, and I'll take the remaining kid at 7pm. Somewhere in there we need to mow our acre yard, which takes 2 hours. Hmmm...it will be interesting for sure!

My life is a circus, and I'm the Juggling Clown Act.

What's funny is (sorry if I get deep and syrupy here) I'm a pretty Garden Variety Mom. We do so much--its not even funny. There are moms out there who are WAY busier than me. And they manage it all beautifully. (I suspect they are medicated, but that's just me.) So every time I talk about how busy I am, I know there are 9372947636253 women out there who are just as busy, if not busier.

But this blog is about me, so there! Heh heh. Speaking of which, I got tagged by Doglover, so here goes:

What was I doing 10 years ago? Working full-time as a Display person for Dillard's, raising my young daughter and pregnant with my first son. Also trying to sell a novel. Hmm.. funny, some things never change... should I take that as a hint?

What are 5 Things on my To-Do List for today: Go to my son's Mother's day party at school and take his birthday cupcakes while I'm there, Take two of my kids to the Dr, Grocery shopping, pick up dry cleaning and manage to do all these things with only one working shoulder.

Snacks I Enjoy: (But sadly can't eat right now) Cool Ranch Doritos, Swedish Fish, Cheese and crackers, Cinnamon Toast

Things I would do if I were a Billionaire: Probably the same things I do now, only I'd do them with STYLE. Travel a lot more, give lots of money to the needy...

Three Of My Bad Habits:I can't seem to close cupboard doors after I've opened them. I eat meals at the computer to save time, and I let the laundry pile up...and up...and UP...

5 Places I have Lived: Washington State, Utah, Texas, Nevada, Wisconsin

Jobs I Have Had: Chronologically-- I have been a Retail Salesclerk, a Retail Store Receptionist/Payroll/Operator, Assistant Dept. Manager, Department Manager, Assistant Display Manager, Buying office Assistant Buyer, Stay Home Mom.

That's it! Hope everyone has a happy Monday! Off I dash!

Break the Mold! Break the Mold!!!

Status: Feeling...dare I say it...better? I don't feel like I'm having labor pains in my shoulder. That's good, folks. Very good. So I'm nervous about the new Indiana Jones movie--since I've talked about it this week. I just saw a trailer on TV last night, and frankly, I'm worried. It appears to me, and maybe it's just me, but it seems the movie is going to follow the typical mold (or modus operandi if you will) of MOST movies--where they find the lost city/ruins/way cool artifact/treasure/etc. and in the end, it GETS DESTROYED.

I've even got evidence to back this up. Hollywood LOVES this plot line. (Warning, the following is full of massive movie spoilers!!!)

Think about it. In the movie "Congo," they discover the coolest Lost City--the city of Zinj, which contains the lost diamond mine of King Solomon. Diamonds the size of my fist are just LYING AROUND--and the whole thing gets destroyed in the end by a volcano. Poof.

In the movie "Tomb Raider"--everything Lara Croft discovers gets destroyed somehow by cave-in or natural disaster...

In "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"--the awesome place where the Holy Grail was kept gets destroyed because some dumba** takes the Grail past the Great Seal or whatever. Poof.

In the Mummy Returns--the ancient Oasis where the Scorpion King resides gets sucked into some otherworldly vortex of...grass... and you guessed it...Poof.

In National Treasure Book of Secrets--Cibola gets flooded.

Notice a pattern here? They always discover these SUPER cool ruins or lost cities, and they ALWAYS GET DESTROYED IN THE END!!!

Does this seem fair? I can only hope when Indy and his mates discover the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull they don't have some earthquake/volcano/storm/wrath of God natural disaster/Cyclone/etc. mess up the whole thing. That always leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

Or am I nuts?

I hope Hollywood breaks the mold on this. I guess we'll all see next weekend!

Things Two and Four have their birthdays tomorrow. Yes, they were born on the same day, eight years apart. What are the odds? ;-)

Also, I got tagged by Doglover--so I'll put that in Monday's post. Have a great weekend everyone!

*DROOL*...

Click here to see the official teaser trailer for "TWILIGHT."

Although I must admit I find it strange to see Edward "fly." Why did the moviemakers decide he would FLY? That's what happens when you make a movie out of a book, right?

*serious rolling of the eyes*

I'm not ashamed to admit I drooled over Rob Pattinson as Cedric Diggory--so we'll see what he does with Edward. Although I wish he'd kept his natural British accent. I could see Edward with that. Or am I crazy?

ANYWAY...I think the baby broke a speed record yesterday. Seriously, he's going to be a race car driver someday...or a track star. I set him down on the floor when we came in from the garage, and by the time I went out to the car to grab a bag of groceries and came back in, he was ACROSS THE HOUSE. Speed demon! I mean, this kid BOOKS when he crawls. Of course he has no desire to even stand up, let alone walk, so we need to work on that. :-(

He's currently in his Playpen, happy as a clam, so I can get this post out.

So the Dr. said it's my rotator cuff. I strained it initially, and now I have Tendonitis in it because I aggravated it with all the cleaning. Sucks to be me right now. She gave me Naproxen, and Vicodin.

I have never really had the hard drugs--and I will only take Vicodin to get through the night. So I took it last night for the first time (whimpering because my shoulder hurrrrrt!) and I was laying in bed, whining, and about 20 minutes later, the pain left my shoulder and I felt like I was floating above the bed, like that chick in The Excorcist. (Don't ask me when I saw that movie, it's way mortifying to admit!) It was a funky feeling. I felt dizzy and floatey, and I was definitely still on the bed.

NO VICODIN DURING THE DAY FOR LARA! Heh heh. The dr. said I could see how it affected me, and I've come to the conclusion that I could sail the car off a cliff and not realize it. So it will be Ibuprofen during the day for moi.

I am getting a little frustrated with the "invitees" of Thing Two's party. Some of them just aren't RSVP'ing. I mean, people, it's a party. It's not that big a deal. Just pick up the phone and say "yes" or "no." It's not that hard. I won't come to your house with a small bunch of villagers with pitchforks and torches, if your son or daughter can't come. I just need a frigging headcount...UGH!

Okay, the pain is making me beotchy. I 'd better go take care of it!